Soda and Depression

Last week I researched a bit about the link between soda and depression. Of course, as with all bad things that we love, it is linked to depression.

A few points:

- I drink a lot of Pepsi. If I don't consume soda for a few days..or even a day, I get edgy, irritable (not so different from how I usually feel), and I get headaches and just generally blah all-around.

- As soon as I take that glorious first sip of Pepsi, things are good again.

- An article I read said that:

One small cohort trial found that when people eliminated sugar and caffeine from their diet those with unexplained depression experienced improved moods within a week. When caffeine and sugar were reintroduced into their diet, their symptoms returned; but, placebo did not produce the same effect. Giving further credence to the caffeine-depression link, another study found that regular consumption of high levels of caffeine (>750 mg daily) appears to be associated with depression.

I never noticed improved moods when I went a week without any soda/caffeine, it was the complete opposite. Or maybe I'm just imagining it that way or perhaps it's because I have depression any way you look at it, with or without caffeine/sugar.

I'd love to read more on the subject but I'm having a hard time finding concrete facts on it. Any links/info would be appreciated.

Anger Management

I'm so mad. I can't even tell you exactly why or at what, but I'm mad. I'm angry. Frustrated. I don't know what to call it. If I could express it right now to you, it would be a long paragraph of expletives followed by a bunch of dots ......

That's basically how I feel.

I'm starting to think that the pain in my chest that I've had since Friday is related to this anger and this panic that I've been having. It's getting worse every day. I don't know what triggered it, but I'm on a steady decline here and I don't what to do. No, no I don't want o die, that's not what I'm saying. I've become very serious in the last two weeks. I haven't laughed in forever, nothing makes me smile, I feel like I've just grown into a lump of flesh who stares at screens all day and barely existing. It's taking its toll on my relationship now. I hate feeling like this. Every other word is a worry in my head. I worry about everything now. Everything. If my boyfriend is four minutes late I go into a angry tornado spin and suspect the worst. I feel like everyone is lying to me. No one is honest and I'm starting to wonder if I'm the one who's not being honest here.

I need to talk to someone. Preferably in English.

It Is You

Came across this post at Create Your Own Confidence and thought it should be shared.

The tough truth is that how you feel is your responsibility. Only you can decide to get the help and support you need, to feel better.

And how you feel is driven by what you got inside of you. The world is filtered through you and by you. The world feels like what you got on the inside. (I know, harsh but true)

In you and on you is the only place where you really have the power to feel better, to become more powerful and strong and to learn how to enjoy life and develop the capacity to do and be who you want.

On Shrinks and Childhood

Well I woke up in a vile mood today. Feeling alone and not too happy with anything right now. I've realized how much I've pushed everyone away and of course, it's my fault I'm alone. But what can I do? At this age it's pretty hard to meet and befriend new people. Especially considering I'm not working or going to school, which makes it double as hard.

I contacted a therapist in the area who seems like the Ideal Shrink for me except for the language barrier. He only takes french patients...and while I speak French at a passing level, I don't think I have the energy or good enough french to express myself well enough in such a situation. I don't know what to do. He said to call him...which terrifies me. I'm so tired of being scared of such bullshit. What can I do? I know the most logical thing you can tell me is "just get over it" and...I tried, but it isn't so easy, now is it?

I guess I just miss having a best friend to do stupid things with. I do stupid things with my boyfriend but it just isn't the same.

How much do therapists charge in the U.S., I'm curious? Here in Canada I was told by one psychologist that it would cost $75 for a 45 minute session and another said $90 per meeting.

The first time I saw a psychologist I was around seven or eight years old and I had separation anxiety. Her last name was Peacock and I don't think she had much of an impact on me. We had a few sessions together and a few where my mother joined us. I can't remember the details but it wasn't an enjoyable experience. I remember my family doctor said something about the umbilical cord still being attached, so to speak and that was the problem with me, except it wasn't attached to me and my mother, but to me and my great aunt. A few years later I saw another shrink because people thought I had an eating disorder becuse no one ever saw me eating at school. I didn't have an eating disorder, you freaks, I had a eating-in-public disorder. Which I still have, in case you wondering.

Give Up Hope = Be Happier? Yes, please

An interesting article from the Daily Telegraph on giving up hope and becoming happier for doing so.

GIVING up hope can actually make some people living with a serious illness happier, according to US researchers who have found a "dark side of hope".

A study by the University of Michigan Health Center for Behavioral and Decision Sciences in Medicine involved a group of adults who had their colons removed.

In total 41 people were told their colostomy was reversible and they could undergo a second operation to reconnect their bowels after several months and get rid of their colostomy bag.

Another 30 individuals were told that the colostomy was permanent.

The study, published in the latest issue of Health Psychology, found the second group, the one without hope, reported being happier over the next six months than those with reversible colostomies. Full article here.

In Search Of: A Shrink

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but things haven't been good. Nothing is really "bad", per se, but I find myself getting so angry at absolutely nothing. I take everything to heart, even if it was just a silly joke.

I've been considering looking for a therapist, but it's so hard to find an English speaking one around here. Or they're too far. Or too expensive. But I'm getting to the point where I feel as if I really need to talk to someone. Someone, preferably who won't make me feel like shit about how I feel.

I guess I have a fantasy where I'll find my perfect therapist and suddenly everything will make sense and I will get answers to my questions about why I'm the way I am and why I'm so closed off to everything and everyone.

But that probably won't ever happen.

Eat Poorly, Feel Poorly

Not surprising, really. Read the full article here.

Eating a diet high in processed food increases the risk of depression, research suggests.

What is more, people who ate plenty of vegetables, fruit and fish actually had a lower risk of depression, the University College London team found.

Data on diet among 3,500 middle-aged civil servants was compared with depression five years later, the British Journal of Psychiatry reported.