On Shrinks and Childhood

Well I woke up in a vile mood today. Feeling alone and not too happy with anything right now. I've realized how much I've pushed everyone away and of course, it's my fault I'm alone. But what can I do? At this age it's pretty hard to meet and befriend new people. Especially considering I'm not working or going to school, which makes it double as hard.

I contacted a therapist in the area who seems like the Ideal Shrink for me except for the language barrier. He only takes french patients...and while I speak French at a passing level, I don't think I have the energy or good enough french to express myself well enough in such a situation. I don't know what to do. He said to call him...which terrifies me. I'm so tired of being scared of such bullshit. What can I do? I know the most logical thing you can tell me is "just get over it" and...I tried, but it isn't so easy, now is it?

I guess I just miss having a best friend to do stupid things with. I do stupid things with my boyfriend but it just isn't the same.

How much do therapists charge in the U.S., I'm curious? Here in Canada I was told by one psychologist that it would cost $75 for a 45 minute session and another said $90 per meeting.

The first time I saw a psychologist I was around seven or eight years old and I had separation anxiety. Her last name was Peacock and I don't think she had much of an impact on me. We had a few sessions together and a few where my mother joined us. I can't remember the details but it wasn't an enjoyable experience. I remember my family doctor said something about the umbilical cord still being attached, so to speak and that was the problem with me, except it wasn't attached to me and my mother, but to me and my great aunt. A few years later I saw another shrink because people thought I had an eating disorder becuse no one ever saw me eating at school. I didn't have an eating disorder, you freaks, I had a eating-in-public disorder. Which I still have, in case you wondering.